She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
