i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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