Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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