Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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