what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
