no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
