just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There's always time for handjobs
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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