Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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