Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
