used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
