who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
