u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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