I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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