we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
