I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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