I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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