I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
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And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
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I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Never joke about your clitoris.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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