We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
