1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
