Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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