she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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