ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
