A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
