wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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