dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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