Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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