dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
