She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
this is an emotional support booty call
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
