Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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