you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
