Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  How is it? Sketchville?

  (1-443): View more from Maryland

  cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness

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  (443): How is it? Sketchville? (1-443): cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness http://tfl.nu/p48v
  Replies (4) Good night (1571) Bad night (467)
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  (381): View more from

  I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.

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  (381): I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore. http://tfl.nu/l0iw
  Replies (15) Good night (1361) Bad night (3224)
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  (209): View more from California

  this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.

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  (209): this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not. http://tfl.nu/74g7
  Replies (27) Good night (9531) Bad night (742)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts

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  (850): I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts http://tfl.nu/nzvy
  Replies (34) Good night (860) Bad night (4025)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'

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  (303): there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame' http://tfl.nu/7sje
  Replies (8) Good night (4057) Bad night (913)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.

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  (817): Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period. http://tfl.nu/d1q3
  Replies (7) Good night (5057) Bad night (974)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.

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  (936): If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way. http://tfl.nu/i55j
  Replies (3) Good night (3326) Bad night (608)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.

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  (614): I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose. http://tfl.nu/hj91
  Replies (23) Good night (809) Bad night (1982)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else

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  (207): he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else http://tfl.nu/pyqa
  Replies (4) Good night (796) Bad night (1406)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.

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  (651): Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation. http://tfl.nu/3ty8
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (586)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow

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  (859): The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow http://tfl.nu/bjeb
  Replies (5) Good night (1850) Bad night (449)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.

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  (940): BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic. http://tfl.nu/0fj8
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (399)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck

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  (817): This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck http://tfl.nu/mv3p
  Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (346)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?

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  (423): Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail? http://tfl.nu/94aa
  Replies (6) Good night (666) Bad night (222)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse

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  (773): It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse http://tfl.nu/hj9m
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (308)

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