Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

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  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5387) Bad night (702)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..

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  (832): I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete.. http://tfl.nu/bykt
  Replies (28) Good night (5388) Bad night (1315)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.

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  (360): We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times. http://tfl.nu/t6mj
  Replies (4) Good night (1511) Bad night (2361)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care

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  (503): just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care http://tfl.nu/jaq9
  Replies (7) Good night (2471) Bad night (762)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?

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  (785): Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there? http://tfl.nu/sg5o
  Replies (2) Good night (2616) Bad night (725)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...

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  (573): Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"... http://tfl.nu/a43j
  Replies (4) Good night (1088) Bad night (742)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.

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  (540): Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run. http://tfl.nu/gma4
  Replies (3) Good night (1920) Bad night (590)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.

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  (575): She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on. http://tfl.nu/epik
  Replies (2) Good night (1729) Bad night (584)
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  (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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  (707): Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life. http://tfl.nu/o39j
  Replies (6) Good night (1366) Bad night (451)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You dont lie about slip and slides

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  (502): You dont lie about slip and slides http://tfl.nu/1239
  Replies (9) Good night (1689) Bad night (496)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.

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  (512): We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again. http://tfl.nu/4ffb
  Replies (8) Good night (572) Bad night (1212)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's like the blind leading the senile over here.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.

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  (541): It's like the blind leading the senile over here. (541): UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili. http://tfl.nu/cgpf
  Replies (7) Good night (1894) Bad night (1029)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.

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  (859): I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK. http://tfl.nu/lcdi
  Replies (26) Good night (480) Bad night (1281)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt

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  (210): How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt http://tfl.nu/wi7k
  Replies (2) Good night (567) Bad night (256)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.

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  (218): He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins. http://tfl.nu/4w92
  Replies (5) Good night (421) Bad night (841)

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