Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.

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(858): View more from California

I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.

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(415): View more from California

This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

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(812): View more from Indiana

You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work

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(646): View more from New York

I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?

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