It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Even my vagina gasped.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
