who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.