Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
