Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
