DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
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