wake up i wanna do it froggy style
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
