Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
