Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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