i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
you had me at cake vodka
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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