Im at strip club and am horny
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
