using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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