Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
