She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
