That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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