I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize