using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
