you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Porn is love you can see.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
