I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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