Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
