dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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