Dual....:-)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
it was like eating out sand paper
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
