Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
