OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
