You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Alive.
So much puke
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
