watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
