This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
