I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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