My sheets look like a crime scene.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
