Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
