did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
