end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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