Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
