I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
