super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
