I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wear drunk well.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
