Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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