I think this baby is eyeing my beer
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize