Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
